Stir Crazy

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians‬ 12‬:10‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

We can’t get away from paradoxes in recovery. To the extent I look for solid explanations for how this works, I am frustrated with a mixed bag of contradictory explanations and weird practices.

Contradictory in that we expect things to work logically in our world today. But the nature of a spiritual way of life demands fluidity.

If I am to seek a higher plane of thought and acknowledge that I have been spiritually corrupted, it follows that aligning myself with new, clean spiritual principles will be at odds with the natural self I’ve been catering to.

It should not surprise us when we see new, uncomfortable habits suggested to us like prayer, meditation, confession, amends, serving others, etc.

We have had a vague sense of the importance or at least merit of some of these things. But the practice of carrying out such practices in daily life seems archaic, difficult and inconvenient. And, it seems weak, doesn’t it?

Aren’t we still looking for a way out of trouble that spares us the concession of having to ask for it?

Aren’t we still trying to save our own skin even at the worst of times?

What will we sacrifice to hold on to this insane frame of mind when the solution to countless others’ problems has been shared with us?

I want to be content with my weakness. Not content to bend to it and suffer the consequences of addiction and beyond. But content to accept it as my personal invitation to his power. To seek his way rather than mine and bend my mind to recognize the truth. It has not been about me at all.

The new strength I have today is born out of giving up. Its fruits are my ever-expanding story. And I water it daily by going to the source, the Creator, my friend.

God, help me be okay being weak.

Cheers, Eamonn
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