Fright

TRUTH

I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

Job 42:2

REFLECTION

I’m not nearly as scared as I should be.

There’s a desensitization underway that began sometime shortly after birth. I hamper with my spiritual growth when I deny it.

I remember a paper I wrote in high school about the slow decay of morals and the fear I had of this happening to me.

I’d seen just enough to understand that over time, we become numb to the very things that could cause our demise. In small doses, callousness can be helpful to traverse difficulty and to grow stronger, but it can be a perilous line to walk.

I used to pride myself with the ability to be “unaffected” when confronted with tough things or scary movies or rough personalities.

But today, I’m more sensitive to humanity than ever. I realize that for a long time I was headed toward disconnection by allowing emotional numbness to take charge.

Righting the ship has involved connection with others and God. In doing so, I am exposed. In doing so, I am vulnerable.

This has ended up being the scariest part of all: submission to authenticity. And even as I write that, it comes off as potentially pretentious.

The point remains: my usefulness is proportional to my vulnerability and my serenity is proportional to acceptance.

God, help me remember that I’m not you.

SPONSOR

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NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
Contact on LinkedIn, YouTube & Twitter.