I’m the Holdup

This is a great time to pull the plug on this project, if you haven’t done so already. Seven weeks of memory verses is fine.

But if you’re ready to dig your heels in a bit more, this week’s verse shouldn’t take a day or two to lock down. We are, after all, only memorizing one little bitty sentence. You can do that, right?

Here’s our eighth verse of the year:

Implant the truth. You got this 👊

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.

Psalm 25:16-18

It sucks having to own up to things.

As addiction consumed the greater parts of my life, I could easily identify with the beginnings of passages like this. I was acutely aware of my loneliness, distress and trouble. It was a natural response to pray for them to be removed.

The issue was that I wanted them vanquished. I didn’t want them to stand in the way of having a good time. I viewed them not as warning mechanisms but as deficiencies.

And I darn sure didn’t read further to see lines about my own sin.

When I wound up in the rooms of AA, I was confronted with similar tales on the same theme like, “when I am disturbed, there’s something wrong with me”.

That something is at the root of my using and inability to sober up on my own.

It’s the incessant desire of self-sufficiency and self-importance and a dozen other self-centered holdups.

Because God welcomes our petitions and desires our joy, but he also knows the pitfalls that are in the way must be removed.

And usually, I’m tripping over my own two desires-to feel good and to do what I want.

I must root out the underlying sin, or if you prefer, the underlying defects of character that are blocking me from knowing him and being in fellowship with others better.

God, give me eyes to see and willingness to confess my shortcomings.