Honor Guard

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭5‬

Anxiety has a way of twisting through every day looking for an opportunity.

It is patient and hungry.

Nothing robs us from the present moment more than the incessant demands of worrying about the next moment.

When I sobered up, I didn’t think I had an anxiety problem. Sure, I’d wrecked much of my life and the relationships around me.

But I was young and relatively healthy once we exorcized the poison from my body.

I battled a bit of self-imposed depression which was primarily rooted in a self-centered pity party I kept throwing myself, but on the whole, I’d emerged into sobriety ready to stay that way.

Fast forward a few weeks. A few years.

The call to live anxiety-free begins to feel impossible when life on life’s terms demands I walk through difficulties instead of around them.

It becomes impossible to ignore the fact that I can carry my anxieties a long way before realizing they are debilitating.

It’s usually the small stuff that wrecks me.

The build up of little bits of the quirks of life.

The unresolved or uncontested rough edges of my thoughts and aspirations.

The everyday push through to the next right thing without the certainty of overcoming the next tough thing.

In all this, I put myself first in my thoughts. I set myself up to drown by not taking these things to God first.

It’s because it seems implausible that it should be that easy.

I know that He may not simply whisk away my worries and so I sit and stew in them instead.

God, help me take more of me to you.

Cheers, Eamonn
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